How to Talk to Your Family About Politics

In 2020, its really tough to stave talking well-nigh politicsand you shouldnt! These discussions can be difficult to start, but they can moreover end up rewarding for everyone involved… promise.

Due to confirmation bias, notes tragedian and law professor Ozan Varol, “we tend to undervalue vestige that contradicts our beliefs and overvalue vestige that confirms them. We filter out inconvenient truths and arguments on the opposing side. As a result, our opinions solidify, and it becomes increasingly harder to disrupt established patterns of thinking.”

Does your family have surprisingly variegated beliefs and values than you do? Heres our cheatsheet to having a productive political dialogue with your loved ones.

Understand where theyre coming from

Begin by asking yourself why you finger so strongly for or versus unrepealable hot-button topics.

Maybe your higher roommate later enlisted in the Marines. Perhaps you read a particularly transitory vendible in Mother Jones that shifted your whole perspective on climate change. 

Now think well-nigh your parents or grandparents. Where are they from? Does that place have unrepealable issues, values, or prejudices that may have shaped their political interests?

How old are your folks? Did they live through a pivotal event or war that may have profoundly impacted how they view and vote for new policies. Remember that you didnt wits the same events that shaped your parents political identities.

A split-screen news environment

Also consider exposure. How do your loved ones get their news?

If they’re online often, are they pursuit influencers who post news? Are they fond to social media, whose algorithms push users into an echo chamber of opinions? Do they hunker lanugo in front of the TV every night for a few hours of subscription news?

Youre likely receiving your view of the world through a variegated news prism than they are, which can drastically verisimilitude how they view political realities.

Acknowledging that you understand your diverging backgrounds will help your parents finger increasingly comfortableand less attackedwhen you broach controversial topics.

Keep it constructive

Starting a convo or debate off on the right foot is all well-nigh tone. Let’s squatter it, plane if you’re a grown-up now, your parents still get wrestling when they think youre yelling at them or stuff disrespectful. The words you segregate matter!

Rather than emphasizing what they should be fixinga move that can make you come off as aggressivetry talking well-nigh potential transpiration as something you can work on as a family or as a community. This will make them finger less targeted and increasingly unshut to hearing what you have to say. 

Going into your political heart-to-heart with a calm, collected, and respectful tone will preserve your credibility, keeping any arguments and specific points you make from stuff tainted by an ugly scuttlebutt you said in the moment (and likely didnt mean). 

 Once a family member feels offended, no other statement you make is going to resonate with them, no matter how important it is. 

Aim for small victories

Have a well-spoken idea well-nigh what you hope to (and reasonably can) achieve. If you uncork with the outlook that your family member is completely wrongand that your goal is to transpiration their mind entirely well-nigh politics, values, and referendum day choicesyoull likely come out empty-handed.

Its moreover a two-way street. Dont act as if youre the enlightened one whose sole job it is to educate your backwards mom, aunt, or sibling.

And realize that everyone tends to get stuck in their ways, clinging to their existing beliefs. (You’re guilty of this, too!)

When you hear someone make a statement well-nigh politics (even one using solid data) that contradicts your personal view, a variegated part of your smart-ass responds than would if you had, say, just heard a new trivia fact well-nigh sports or pop culture.

A study in Scientific Reports showed that heated political comments stimulate your default mode network, the part of your smart-ass where you store your identity and internalize threats. This is why it can be nonflexible for you, or your loved ones, to stomach a political scuttlebutt that’s at odds with an ingrained weighing system.

Make it a group worriedness

Maybe your aunt or cousin is a real bookworm. If thats the case, why not propose a family typesetting club?

Dig into environmental issues with Elizabeth Rushs Rising, or unpack issues of racial justice through any number of spanking-new resources. Set weekly video calls to talk through what surprised, confused, or enlightened you. Or unify a virtual brunch session to team-read the news.

If your family isn’t big on reading, suggest a few documentaries, such as 13th or Knock Lanugo The House, that you can watch together, or plane a historical blockbuster like On the Basis of Sex.

Serve up a “truth sandwich”

What if your parent or sibling comes to your political yack with verifiably false information? Perhaps they trotted out a completely erroneous statistic a friend emailed them. Maybe theyre flirting with debunked and dangerous conspiracy theories like QAnon, which has metastasized on social media platforms. 

In a recent New York Times Op-ed, writer Richard Friedman dishes on cognitive scientist George Lakoffs solution for such a scenario: the truth sandwich. Capitalizing on our human tendency to remember only the whence and end of an exchange, this strategy tasks you with repeating the same false statement your parents made but sandwiching it between two well-judged statements, supported by data. 

Lets say your mom hits you with climate transpiration is just a hoax… there are always natural disasters! 

The truth sandwich you offer might squint something like this: Five of the six largest California wildfires in history have started in just the past six weeks. I know you may finger climate transpiration is a hoax given that the world has a long history of wildfire. But you cant deny the sheer number of homes and lives destroyed in just these past six weeks by five of the largest fires in California history.

Bring in a “credible colleague”

The Harvard Business Review, reflecting on how to persuade co-workers, suggests a handy tactic if a discussion is going nowhere: Enlist uneaten help to make your point.

“Rather than trying to oppose with someone who seems resistant, bring in a suppositious colleague,” they write. Doing so “…forces the detractor to unwind who you are from what your treatise might be and evaluate the idea based on its objective merits.”

Now the HBR might be talking well-nigh an office setting, but this trick works just as well with personal, political arguments. Maybe the “credible colleague” in your life is an older sibling, a likeminded uncle who works in public service, or plane an old higher professor. Loop their expertise into your conversation and see if the message sticks.

Know that this is just the beginning

Maybe youll walk out of your first convo satisfied, completely having reverted your family member’s outlook on an issue. Maybe you’ll find that you have a increasingly nuanced understanding of an issue that your parents or siblings are passionate about. Or maybe… nothing much will happen at first. And thats totally okay. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Remember that peoples minds (usually) dont just transpiration overnight. Youll likely have to have many of these discussions surpassing a true dialogue can happen.

At the end of the day, its all well-nigh stuff well-appointed to start these tough conversations: challenging each other, educating each other, and simply stuff a good, engaged citizen.

The post How to Talk to Your Family Well-nigh Politics appeared first on Lemonade Blog.